Copyright 2025 Ilya Beliaev  

Permission is hereby granted, free of charge, to any person obtaining a copy  
of this satire series (the "Software"), to laugh, cry, and recognize themselves  
in the horror stories depicted, subject to the following conditions:  

1. **You must not pretend** you've never seen your own PIX SQL in production.  
2. **You must blame yourself first** before blaming the system.  
3. **You are encouraged to fork reality** and refactor your career.  

THE SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS", WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR  
IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF PTBS,  
CODING TRAUMA, AND LEGACY BURNOUT.